A Guide To Anger And Conflict Resolution
Welcome to From Insults to Respect. For those of us who seek to be respected, increasing our wisdom offers a promising path. In thinking about this, I recall a paragraph by John Stewart Mill: “In the case of any person whose judgment is really deserving of confidence, how has it become so? Because he has kept his mind open to criticism of his opinions and conduct….
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Welcome to From Insults to Respect. Let’s start off this post with a brief tale that illustrates some of the strong feelings that come about when religion is discussed: A rabbi and atheist are heatedly arguing over whether or not god truly exists. After a whole hour of this, finally the rabbi cries out in a rage, “How can you be so absolutely certain that there is…
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Welcome to From Insults to Respect. As you might imagine, people who are viewed as wise tend to be more respected than people who are viewed as foolish. With that in mind, let’s take a look at a few suggestions for improving our wisdom. Assessing Openness Consider, if you will, an old joke–If you want people to respect you for your wisdom, just agree with everything…
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When his father lost his job because of a serious illness, John qualified for a free lunch pass at school. The first time John showed the cashier at the school’s lunch line his pass, Fred, a husky boy standing behind John, started to laugh and cry out to others, “Hey guys, get a load of this! John has a free lunch pass. What’s the matter, John,…
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William James, psychologist and philosopher, passed away over a century ago. Nevertheless, his remarkable body of work remains as fresh as fruit plucked from its tree but moments ago. His views about his personal bout with a challenging experience developed over many years. Today I think it will be instructive if we spent a little time reviewing what he learned. A Glimpse at James’s Early…
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Dealing with the frustration that goes along with challenging conflicts has some similarities to sailors dealing with stormy seas—it is best to utilize a well-rehearsed plan. For dealing with conflicts, one such plan begins with thinking of the word “DIG.” With a little practice, we can use this word to remind us of a simple way to summarize the conflict even in the midst of…
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Last week’s post, titled ADHD and Psychiatric Name Calling, criticized the prevalent practice of converting concerns about a person’s ability to pay attention into medical lingo. There was a great deal of interest in the post so I decided to present another for your consideration. As I began to craft this, my thoughts went back to my most popular post, Teaching Children How to Deal with…
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Sometimes we observe people doing things that seem terribly wrong. We may then find, welling up from within, an urgent desire to provide negative criticism. In earlier posts, in an effort to provide some guidance on how to avoid expressing our concerns in a form that can potentially make a bad situation far worse, I provided a description of 5 levels of maturity for providing…
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“Rickey, you’re looking like you’re feeling blue,” I said softly to this 13-year boy I had been counseling for a few months. As I looked at him, I observed some sadness rising up within me. “Ever since I remember, I always slept with my dog, Prince,” Rickey mournfully replied. “This morning, when I woke up, he was…he was…he was dead. He died!” A tear began…
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“Left turn!” hollers the drill sergeant to his new recruits. Private Smith begins to turn right, but catches his mistake as he notices the other recruits turning in the correct manner. He manages, although a bit clumsily, to end up turning left. “Boy, don’t you know your left from your right?” the drill sergeant shouts in Private Smith’s face. “Yes, Drill Sergeant.” “I’m so glad…
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