A Guide To Anger And Conflict Resolution
Welcome to From Insults to Respect. Recently I came upon an article in the October 2019 edition of the American Psychologist about using timeouts with children from 2 to 8 years of age. As a grandfather, it caught my attention. According to the authors, Mark R. Dadds and Lucy A. Tully, the use of this technique is quite controversial. Well, it just so happens I love dealing with controversial…
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Welcome to from Insults to Respect. Today we seek to answer the question, If we are experiencing sadness does that mean that we are bad? We’ll begin with a little parable to see what it might reveal. Then we’ll look at the real life example of Laura, a young woman who came to think there was something wrong with her because of her sadness. The…
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William James (1842-1910) became one of the leading thinkers of his day, and through his writings he remains one of the most influential psychologists and philosophers the United States has ever produced. There is a certain wisdom and kindness that runs through his work that I particularly admire. So, in an earlier post when I wanted to come up with ideas on how parents can best…
Read MoreIn a recent post titled ADHD and Psychiatric Name Calling, I reviewed studies documenting how much is currently being spent annually on ADHD drug treatments. Here are some new numbers provided by Healthline: What are we getting for this? In this post I hope to clarify this issue. As you read it, you will see phrases in blue. By clicking on each, you will be taken…
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If you have been following this blog, you know that from time to time I have been discussing insults and criticism. In earlier posts, we looked at situations in which people end up feeling insulted because someone provided negative criticism. I have argued that rather than to feel insulted, it is possible to learn to welcome criticism, as well as words that might come off…
Read MoreFor the past few weeks I have been discussing personal power. Power is the skill to achieve your desires. To help people to come up with plans to achieve their desires, we have been constructing a list, in alphabetical order, of sources of power. We are calling this list the ABCs of Power. So far, the list looks like this: THE ABCs OF POWER A=Advancing…
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In my previous post, I offered some suggestions for dealing with criticism. There, I mentioned that in difficult situations I have found it helpful before providing criticism to pause. Because people want to be liked and to be free to make their own decisions, during my pause I think about how to minimize any perceived threat to these two desires. To practice this skill, I…
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In a recent post (Dealing with Criticism by Digging Deeper) I discussed some difficult situations that may occur when we deal with criticism. There, I mentioned that in these types of situations, it can be helpful to do our best to describe what the criticizer’s most obvious desire is for providing the criticism and then to look to see if there are any other desires…
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For the past few weeks we have been discussing how to deal with criticism. As I have noted, because criticism is often accompanied by name calling, insults, threats, and even violence, it can be very hard to handle. Even when criticism is provided in a more supportive manner, threats to our desires to be liked and to be free to do whatever we want can…
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In my previous post I provided readers a discussion titled PROVIDING NEGATIVE CRITICISM: FIVE LEVELS OF MATURITY. Several of the same arguments that I used earlier to defend the FIVE LEVELS OF RESPONDING TO CRITICISM are equally true for defending the five levels of providing negative criticism. Perhaps the best argument for the five levels can be derived from the golden rule—Treat others as you…
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