A Guide To Anger And Conflict Resolution
Welcome to From Insults To Respect. As someone with considerable training in developmental psychology, I sometimes view certain styles of behavior on a scale ranging from immature to mature. When I do that, might I be insulting those who I view as acting immature? For those of you, who like me, prefer not to insult anyone, I invite you to join me in considering this question….
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Sometimes we observe people doing things that seem terribly wrong. We may then find, welling up from within, an urgent desire to provide negative criticism. In earlier posts, in an effort to provide some guidance on how to avoid expressing our concerns in a form that can potentially make a bad situation far worse, I provided a description of 5 levels of maturity for providing…
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“Rickey, you’re looking like you’re feeling blue,” I said softly to this 13-year boy I had been counseling for a few months. As I looked at him, I observed some sadness rising up within me. “Ever since I remember, I always slept with my dog, Prince,” Rickey mournfully replied. “This morning, when I woke up, he was…he was…he was dead. He died!” A tear began…
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Leonard Pitts, Jr. is a columnist, author of three novels and winner of numerous awards including the 2004 Pulitzer Prize for commentary. When I heard that he was speaking at Flagler College, having enjoyed reading his insightful column for many years, I eagerly went to see him. Mr. Pitts’s formal presentation was well received. Then, he began to take questions from the audience. His responses to each…
Read MoreA conflict exists whenever the following three conditions exist: Party A desires an act will occur. Party A perceives that another party is likely to act in a manner that interferes with the desire. Party A perceives that the other party would be guilty of doing something wrong if he or she carries out the interfering act. On this blog, when we think about describing…
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In an earlier post, eight reasons were given for why someone might criticize or insult you. Becoming familiar with the various reasons is helpful because once you identify the reason, it becomes easier to choose a plan to maturely deal with the criticism. If you see that someone is just playfully teasing you, just a smile may be all that is needed as a response. …
Read MoreOn this blog, I have often discussed various reasons why someone might throw insults at you, and, depending on the reason, how to maturely deal with these challenging experiences (see for example, “Insults: A Comic Strip Guide“). If John is throwing an insult at you because he is in a bad mood, just asking in a concern manner, “Is everything OK, John, you sound like…
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Most of us know situations in which someone became angry and it made the situation worse. For example, consider the following Luann comic. In the comic, Toni, the girl with blond hair, becomes angry at Miss Eiffel because of the way she was treating her boyfriend, Brad. In the end, Toni and the guy she cares about are far from happy. Although expressing our anger…
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Welcome to From Insults to Respect. Most people would agree that some people are less skillful at handling criticism than others. Those following this blog well know that I have been encouraging readers to be able to recognize five levels of maturity for responding to criticism. As I began my efforts, first I provided a lesson about the first four levels of maturity (see Responding to…
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Over the course of the last few weeks I presented some lessons that aim to get you to think about immature and mature ways to provide negative criticism to yourself (see CRITICIZING YOURSELF: FIVE LEVELS OF MATURITY and CRITICIZING YOURSELF MATURELY: A COMIC STRIP LOVER’S GUIDE). As I’ve pointed out on many occasions, becoming a master at utilizing the higher levels of maturity takes more than just thinking…
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