A Guide To Anger And Conflict Resolution
In my previous post I provided readers a discussion titled PROVIDING NEGATIVE CRITICISM: FIVE LEVELS OF MATURITY. Several of the same arguments that I used earlier to defend the FIVE LEVELS OF RESPONDING TO CRITICISM are equally true for defending the five levels of providing negative criticism. Perhaps the best argument for the five levels can be derived from the golden rule—Treat others as you…
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Welcome to From Insults to Respect. Recently I have been discussing a model that describes five levels of maturity when responding to criticism. Today, we switch gears, and take a look at a model that describes five levels of maturity when providing criticism. The Five Levels Below you will find preliminary descriptions of how people at five developmental levels of maturity provide criticism, that is,…
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Recently, I published posts that discussed dealing with your anger that might arise when you are criticized (see BEING A WISE FRIEND TO YOUR ANGRY SELF, PART 1 and BEING A WISE FRIEND TO YOUR ANGRY SELF, PART 2). The techniques that are recommended in those posts can be helpful for those who are upset about what was said. But there are times when we…
Read MoreIn my last post, I discussed BEING A WISE FRIEND TO YOUR ANGRY SELF. I received some nice comments from people who found the suggestions helpful. Thanks! For some, the suggestions that I put forth on this blog are easy to carry out in real life situations. For others, old habits that have been used in anger- arousing situations for years are not so easily…
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In my last post, CRITICISM AND ANGER, I discussed how sometimes when we are criticized we find ourselves getting angry. At such times, it’s a good idea to have a well-practiced strategy to summarize the criticism that has been made and then to respectfully call for a break in the discussion to consider all that has been said. Once you have removed yourself from the anger arousing situation,…
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Over the past few weeks, I have been discussing responding to criticism. To become a master at responding to criticism we have to learn to figure out the reason why someone is criticizing us because different reasons require a different type of response. So far, we discussed four different reasons and how to respond to them: Criticism designed to encourage you to improve (see RESPONDING…
Read MoreLast week I began a discussion about how to handle it if you suspect somebody is criticizing you because of jealousy. Today we will begin a discussion about what you might wish to do if you find that you are insulting individuals with whom you are experiencing feelings of jealousy. To that end, please consider the following parable from my novel, Love, Sex, And Respect….
Read MoreThe Parable of Ed and Lori Ed has been dating Lori for a little over a month. One day he invites her to have dinner at his favorite restaurant. “Ed,” she replies with a smile, “I’d like to pick the restaurant this time. You picked last time.” Ed thinks to himself that the one time he agreed to Lori picking the restaurant, she picked spicy…
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Recently, I put up a post on this blog titled “RESPONDING TO CRITICISM: FOUR LEVELS OF MATURITY.” After describing the four levels, I ended the post with the question, “Is there a higher level than level four?” Today I shall propose a level five: LEVEL FIVE. In addition to actions consistent with level 4, people responding to criticism in a manner consistent with level 5…
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The last few blog posts have been devoted to encouraging readers to take a little time to stop and think about criticism. In the most recent post, we took a look at four levels of responding to criticism. Level one is viewed as the least mature response, and each higher level is viewed as more and more mature. Let’s take another look at these four…
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