A Guide To Anger And Conflict Resolution
In my previous post, I offered some suggestions for dealing with criticism. There, I mentioned that in difficult situations I have found it helpful before providing criticism to pause. Because people want to be liked and to be free to make their own decisions, during my pause I think about how to minimize any perceived threat to these two desires. To practice this skill, I…
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In a recent post (Dealing with Criticism by Digging Deeper) I discussed some difficult situations that may occur when we deal with criticism. There, I mentioned that in these types of situations, it can be helpful to do our best to describe what the criticizer’s most obvious desire is for providing the criticism and then to look to see if there are any other desires…
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A while back I saw a YouTube video dealing with insults that made someone cry went viral. It is called, Bus Stop Ignorance. In the video we see 43-year-old William Bailey taunting Hope Knight, a ten-year old girl with cerebral palsy. Hope uses crutches and Mr. Bailey, in the video, mocks the way she walks. He also gets his son to join him in the…
Read MoreWhy would someone fling insults at you? For the past few weeks we have discussed eight different reasons and how to deal with each one (see INSULTS: A COMIC STRIP LOVER’S GUIDE). Sometimes when people attempt to insult you, they are being clumsy at letting you know they have a conflict with you. Here, it looks like Lt. Fuzz insults Sarge because he has a…
Read MoreIf you have been following this blog, you will have noticed that for the past few weeks I have relied heavily on humor to teach some of the main principles of conflicts (see for examples, ANGER: A COMIC STRIP LOVER’S GUIDE and INSULTS: A COMIC STRIP LOVER’S GUIDE. But a blog such as this, if it is to be a source of wisdom, must keep…
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Teasing is a game sometimes known as bantering, joshing, crackin’, rankin’, playing the dozens, trash talk, and infighting. You are judged on the quality of your insults and also how well you keep your cool on being insulted. Even the most mature people may like to play the teasing game, for they enjoy the duel of wits and the occasional humorous comeback. Consider the following…
Read MoreIn an early post on this blog I discussed the fact that often the reason why people might call you a name, insult or tease you is that they have a conflict with you (see the posts titled DIG FOR THE CONFLICT, CONFLICTS AND FRUSTRATION, and SUMMARIZE AND DELAY). For many of us, as soon as we see that someone has a conflict with us,…
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Recently I provided a post titled, ANGER: A COMIC STRIP LOVER’S GUIDE. There we chiefly focused on the variety of anger expressions. Anger, in addition to being viewed as something that we express, is also viewed as an emotion. To deeply understand the nature of anger we must understand what emotions are. The Four Basic Emotions There are four basic emotions. Two of them, hope…
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If you have been following this blog you know that I have discussed anger on several occasions (See, for example, BEING A WISE FRIEND TO YOUR ANGRY SELF, PART 1 and BEING A WISE FRIEND TO YOUR ANGRY SELF, PART 2). During these discussions, I mentioned that how you handle anger has a big influence on how much people like and respect you. Today we delve into…
Read MoreIf you have been following this blog, you know that lately we have been working on becoming masters at dealing with criticism. One important lesson that we have focused in on is that in designing our response to a particular criticism it is crucial that we figure out why the person is criticizing us. Let’s say, for example, that John, upon entering my home and…
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