A Guide To Anger And Conflict Resolution
In my last post, I discussed BEING A WISE FRIEND TO YOUR ANGRY SELF. I received some nice comments from people who found the suggestions helpful. Thanks! For some, the suggestions that I put forth on this blog are easy to carry out in real life situations. For others, old habits that have been used in anger- arousing situations for years are not so easily…
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In my last post, CRITICISM AND ANGER, I discussed how sometimes when we are criticized we find ourselves getting angry. At such times, it’s a good idea to have a well-practiced strategy to summarize the criticism that has been made and then to respectfully call for a break in the discussion to consider all that has been said. Once you have removed yourself from the anger arousing situation,…
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For the past few weeks, I have been discussing the different reasons why people criticize and how to respond in a mature manner. To become a master at responding maturely, these mature responses have to be rehearsed. But even after a great deal of rehearsing, masters at responding to criticism occasionally find themselves becoming so angry at what is being said, that they have to…
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In the last blog post, when Marie became frustrated at Carl’s opinion, she criticized it by shouting at Carl and calling him names. Carl ended up feeling insulted. I then criticized Marie’s style of criticism. Although I know that sometimes people, when criticized, feel insulted, sometimes when I’m doing my counseling routine, I criticize anyway. “Are you saying I did something wrong?!” Barbara shouts. …
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Conflict is like a great sea. At various times any region of this sea can become terribly turbulent. When you get out on the Sea of Conflict, many of its regions look pretty much like any of its other regions and it’s not hard to get lost out there. There is a region of this sea that is known as Anger. There, storms are particularly…
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In this blog, you will find suggestions for dealing with challenges that occur when someone is treating you in a manner that feels disrespectful. You may think that once you understand a suggestion and it strikes you as reasonable, then all that’s left for you to do is to try out the suggestion the next time you feel someone is treating you disrespectfully. And sometimes…
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Please consider the following parable: PARABLE OF KATE AND HER BOSS Kate’s boss, Nelson, left for a week vacation in the Bahamas during a particularly busy time. When Nelson returned, he started to insult Kate because she and the rest of her team did not complete all that he had expected. Nelson’s tone of voice began to infuriate Kate. Rather than exploding, she had a…
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Please consider the following parable: THE MARTY AND LENA PARABLE Marty got stuck at work. He calls his girlfriend, Lena, to let her know he’s going to be late for their date. When Marty finally arrives, it’s apparent that Lena has a conflict with him. That is, she desires he be on time. When Marty arrived late this interfered with this desire. She believes Marty…
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To become a master at dealing with disrespectful acts, an important skill to learn is to identify the reason you are being treated this way. In future blogs, I will discuss a total of eight reasons. Today we’ll focus just on one of them. Oftentimes the reason for the insulting behavior is that the insulter has a conflict with you. If you can quickly identify…
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As we interact with others, sometimes we find someone treating us disrespectfully. For example, someone might shout at us words like, “You’re a jerk!” or “You’re a piece of trash!” It’s no secret that when we are treated disrespectfully, we may have feelings of anguish and be moved to tears. Or we may explode in anger. To deal with these rough feelings it often helps to…
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