A Guide To Anger And Conflict Resolution
by Jeffrey Rubin, PhD Welcome to From Insults to Respect. Today I’ve decided to discuss a sad topic. It came about as I listened to music while gazing out my window at the pleasant green garden of my neighbor’s backyard, reflecting upon what I might discuss in my next blog post. At one point it occurred to me that when my next birthday comes around I’ll…
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Welcome to From Insults to Respect. Sometimes we say something to a lover, friend, or colleague and find we are being angrily criticized because what was said offended the listener. Regular visitors to this blog know I have discussed how to deal with criticism in a manner that enhance how much people will like and respect you (see as examples HERE, HERE, and HERE). In these…
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Welcome to From Insults to Respect. Our topic today–conceit. If you are seeking to be respected, actions by you that suggest to others that you are conceited are probably not helpful. To increase your motivation to change such behaviors, listening to Bob Dylan’s emotionally powerful song, “Disease of Conceit,” just might help. The song appears on Bob’s 1989 album, Oh Mercy. The first verse tells us,…
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Welcome to From Insults to Respect. In my last post, I made the following argument: Supporters of Kamala Harris would be wise to seek to make friends with Trump supporters rather than to demean them. Here’s my approach for doing this. I explain to his supporters that I get why they are awfully angry about such things as the prices at the supermarket and the…
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Welcome to From Insults to Respect. Kamala Harris has agreed to debate Donald Trump on September 10th. I get why politically she feels she needs to agree to it–she doesn’t want to look like she’s afraid of him. Nevertheless, if I was in her place, I would have rejected the proposal because Trump, at these events, does not debate. Yes, he shows up at these events…
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Welcome to From Insults to Respect. This week, I spent an evening listening to some of my favorite songs from the Kinks, a British rock band that had several great hits beginning in the mid-1960s. Brothers Ray Davies (lead vocals, rhythm guitar) and Dave Davies (lead guitar, vocals) remained members throughout the group’s 32-year run. One of the songs, “Low Budget,” released in 1979 when inflation…
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Welcome to From Insults to Respect. My last couple of blog posts see (HERE & HERE) explored why criticism often leads to defensiveness. Shortly after I published these, one of my readers, Bob Parker, PhD, responded with an email saying, “I liked your blog post a lot. It rings very true. I think a fine line exists between defensive reactions and introspection in this case….
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Welcome to From Insults to Respect. In my last blog post, we discussed how criticism often leads to an angry conflict related to the desire to be liked. We now turn to another reason why criticism often leads to a conflict — the desire to maintain freedom. Back in 1966, psychologist Jack W. Brehm published a remarkable book entitled, A Theory of Psychological Reactance. In…
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Welcome to From Insults to Respect. When someone provides criticism anger often ensues. The above comic offers us a fine example. Why is Sally getting so angry over her brother’s comment? Could it have to do with the desire to be liked and loved? For many of us, not being liked or loved is the worst thing imaginable. When you’re around someone who likes you, oftentimes that…
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Welcome to From Insults to Respect. Today, we discuss Donald Trump and his supporters taking cheap shots seeking to blame President Biden for inflation. They are doing this despite the overwhelming evidence that countries around the world, regardless of whether they are led by very conservative or liberal governments, have been experiencing inflation. Moreover, it is factually undeniable that the annual inflation rates for dozens and dozens…
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