A Guide To Anger And Conflict Resolution
In my last post I discussed the YouTube video, “Making the Bus Monitor Cry.” Let’s continue the discussion. Why did these boys continue to say and do such hurtful things for over ten minutes? Was it because they hoped their actions would encourage the monitor to make some improvements in her life? This seems doubtful because their actions plainly demonstrated that they had absolutely no…
Read MoreThose following this blog have been reading about the five levels of maturity for responding to criticism(see May 13th post and May 27th post). How well did Karen Klein, the 68-year-old grandmother who many of us witnessed in a YouTube video, do? There, during a 10 minute episode, middle school students hurl a barrage of criticism at her. One asks for her address because he says…
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In this blog, from time to time I have said that some responses to criticism are more mature than others. To refer to maturity without being clear about what it means can lead to confusion. So, today, I clarify what I meant by this. To do so, please consider the following comic strip. When Andy says that Marsha is acting immature, it is possible that…
Read MoreThe Parable of Ed and Lori Ed has been dating Lori for a little over a month. One day he invites her to have dinner at his favorite restaurant. “Ed,” she replies with a smile, “I’d like to pick the restaurant this time. You picked last time.” Ed thinks to himself that the one time he agreed to Lori picking the restaurant, she picked spicy…
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Recently, I put up a post on this blog titled “RESPONDING TO CRITICISM: FOUR LEVELS OF MATURITY.” After describing the four levels, I ended the post with the question, “Is there a higher level than level four?” Today I shall propose a level five: LEVEL FIVE. In addition to actions consistent with level 4, people responding to criticism in a manner consistent with level 5…
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The last few blog posts have been devoted to encouraging readers to take a little time to stop and think about criticism. In the most recent post, we took a look at four levels of responding to criticism. Level one is viewed as the least mature response, and each higher level is viewed as more and more mature. Let’s take another look at these four…
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Let’s say you meet a guy named Pete. As you begin to interact with him some of his actions begin to upset you. You say, “Pete, since we met you have yelled at me twice and called me stupid.” Pete responds to your criticism by smashing his elbow right into your cheek. Do you think you would like Pete? Would you respect Pete for acting…
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In the last couple of blog posts, I have been trying to make the case that if we are to become wise we will learn to thank people whenever they criticize us, open our minds to listen to them, and rejoice because criticism has the potential to make us wiser (see post titled Criticism and Wisdom). If this is so, why do so many of…
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In my last blog post we began to take up the question, “Is criticism bad?” There, we concluded with a King Solomon proverb that declares that if you criticize the wise man he will love you and become even wiser. Now I understand that for many people the idea of criticism is joined with the way criticism has been presented to them over the years. …
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The metaphor of a sea can give us an intuitive sense of how conflict and anger are related. Anger is like a region on the Great Sea of Conflict that can be very dangerous. When a master sailor finds she is in the region of anger and a storm begins to develop, she has already prepared herself. She has practiced some very specific skills when…
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