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CRITICIZING YOURSELF: FIVE LEVELS OF MATURITY

Earlier, I wrote a post titled “Providing Negative Criticism: Five Levels of Maturity.”  When I gave examples of people using the five levels, they typically involved someone providing criticism to someone else.  And yet, if you think about it, you probably criticize yourself at least as much as you criticize others. So, it is time that we begin to take a good hard look to…

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THE CREATION OF THE COOL STEVE STORIES

It was way back in 1972 on a pleasant autumn day.  As I stepped out of the sparkling sunshine into the shadowy confines of the Coney Island Child Psychiatric Clinic, I was greeted by three people who could have been movie actors.  One was a beautiful social worker in her late twenties, with flowing brunette hair; another, a tall, handsome psychologist in his early thirties;…

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THE ABCs OF POWER: THE LETTER E

On this blog we have been discussing personal power.  We have noted that the reason why people use insults is to try to achieve their desires.  This strategy often backfires.  Therefore, we have been learning plans to increase our skill to achieve our desires without launching insults at others. Learning the sources of power greatly enhances our skills to achieve our desires.  And once we…

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THE ABCs OF POWER: THE LETTER D

A few weeks ago I began to discuss personal power.  Let’s begin today’s lesson with a quick review of some key points. Quick Review Personal power has several definitions.  We’ll be focusing on the one that states that it is the ability to achieve your desires. Power is related to name calling, insults and teasing.  The reason that people use name calling, insults and teasing…

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PROVIDING NEGATIVE CRITICISM: A LUANN COMIC STRIP LESSON

by Jeffrey Rubin, PhD

In last week’s post, I presented a lesson on responding to negative criticism that utilized a Luann comic strip.  It was so popular that I decided to once again have Luann help us out; but this time, rather than focusing on the most mature ways to respond to negative criticism, let’s focus on the most mature ways to provide negative criticism.  For those of you…

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RESPONDING TO CRITICISM: A LUANN COMIC STRIP LESSON

Over the past year, followers of this blog have been learning how to skillfully deal with criticism.  Some of the lessons focused on the four levels of maturity for responding to criticism (see HERE). Throughout these lessons we looked at the various reasons why some responses are viewed as more mature than others.  I also noted that because people often get defensive when criticized, it…

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DEALING WITH INSULTS: LESSONS FROM THE JACKIE ROBINSON STORY

Welcome to From Insults to Respect. Today, to get us to think more deeply about dealing with insults, let’s discuss for few minutes what Jackie Robinson went through when he became the first black major leaguer. Just before Mr. Robinson began to play in the majors for the Brooklyn Dodgers, the Dodgers’ general manager, Branch Rickey, made it clear to him that he would face criticism…

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THE ABCs OF POWER AND THE GUILT CONDITION

For the past few weeks I have been discussing personal power.  Power is the skill to achieve your desires.  To help people to come up with plans to achieve their desires, we have been constructing a list, in alphabetical order, of sources of power.  We are calling this list the ABCs of Power.  So far, the list looks like this: THE ABCs OF POWER A=Advancing…

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SOME EXAMPLES OF UTILIZING THE ABCs OF POWER

On this blog, for the past three weeks I have been discussing the nature of personal power. I’ve also been constructing a list, in alphabetical order, of the main sources of power.  So far, the list looks like this: THE ABCs OF POWER A=Advancing Skill (see The ABCs of Power: The letter “A”) B=Breaking Down a Conflict into its Three Conditions:  Desire, Interference and Guilt…

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THE ABCs OF POWER: THE LETTER “C”

On this blog I often discuss mature ways to handle situations in which we feel that we are being insulted (see for example, RESPONDING TO CRITICISM: FOUR LEVELS OF MATURITY). Many people after reading several of these posts find that situations that previously gave them difficulty can now be handled with great confidence.  As a result, they find that people have begun to treat them…

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