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DEALING WITH EMOTIONAL PAIN

You get a phone call and discover the person you have fallen in love with has decided to end the relationship. An event is coming up and each time you think about this, you experience waves and waves of fear. Some big kids at school teased you in front of your friends and when you get home you find yourself vividly recalling, over and over…

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CRITICIZING YOURSELF MATURELY: A COMIC STRIP LOVER’S GUIDE

Welcome to From Insults to Respect. Recently I presented a post that aims to get you to think about immature and mature ways to provide negative criticism to yourself (see Criticizing Yourself: Five Levels of Maturity). In that post there is a fun practice section to help people to get familiar with the different levels. Becoming a master at utilizing the higher levels of maturity takes…

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CRITICIZING YOURSELF: FIVE LEVELS OF MATURITY

Earlier, I wrote a post titled “Providing Negative Criticism: Five Levels of Maturity.”  When I gave examples of people using the five levels, they typically involved someone providing criticism to someone else.  And yet, if you think about it, you probably criticize yourself at least as much as you criticize others. So, it is time that we begin to take a good hard look to…

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THE ABCs OF POWER: THE LETTER F

On this blog, for the past few weeks we have been discussing personal power.  We have noted that the reason why people use insults is to try to achieve their desires.  This strategy often backfires.  Therefore, we have been learning plans to increase our skill to achieve our desires without launching insults. One valuable way to come up with plans to achieve our desires is…

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THE ABCs OF POWER: THE LETTER E

On this blog we have been discussing personal power.  We have noted that the reason why people use insults is to try to achieve their desires.  This strategy often backfires.  Therefore, we have been learning plans to increase our skill to achieve our desires without launching insults at others. Learning the sources of power greatly enhances our skills to achieve our desires.  And once we…

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THE ABCs OF POWER: THE LETTER D

A few weeks ago I began to discuss personal power.  Let’s begin today’s lesson with a quick review of some key points. Quick Review Personal power has several definitions.  We’ll be focusing on the one that states that it is the ability to achieve your desires. Power is related to name calling, insults and teasing.  The reason that people use name calling, insults and teasing…

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PROVIDING NEGATIVE CRITICISM: A LUANN COMIC STRIP LESSON

by Jeffrey Rubin, PhD

In last week’s post, I presented a lesson on responding to negative criticism that utilized a Luann comic strip.  It was so popular that I decided to once again have Luann help us out; but this time, rather than focusing on the most mature ways to respond to negative criticism, let’s focus on the most mature ways to provide negative criticism.  For those of you…

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RESPONDING TO CRITICISM: A LUANN COMIC STRIP LESSON

Over the past year, followers of this blog have been learning how to skillfully deal with criticism.  Some of the lessons focused on the four levels of maturity for responding to criticism (see HERE). Throughout these lessons we looked at the various reasons why some responses are viewed as more mature than others.  I also noted that because people often get defensive when criticized, it…

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“BULLY” AND BEYOND

Although the deeply disturbing documentary, “Bully,” has been out for over a year, I just got to view it as a rental a few days ago.  It grabbed my guts and gave them a wrenching twist. The documentary focuses on the struggles of five families.  Two students end up killing themselves, others seriously consider it, while one young lady attempts to discourage her persecutors from…

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DEALING WITH INSULTS: LESSONS FROM THE JACKIE ROBINSON STORY

Welcome to From Insults to Respect. Today, to get us to think more deeply about dealing with insults, let’s discuss for few minutes what Jackie Robinson went through when he became the first black major leaguer. Just before Mr. Robinson began to play in the majors for the Brooklyn Dodgers, the Dodgers’ general manager, Branch Rickey, made it clear to him that he would face criticism…

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