A Guide To Anger And Conflict Resolution
In my last post I discussed the YouTube video, “Making the Bus Monitor Cry.” Let’s continue the discussion. Why did these boys continue to say and do such hurtful things for over ten minutes? Was it because they hoped their actions would encourage the monitor to make some improvements in her life? This seems doubtful because their actions plainly demonstrated that they had absolutely no…
Read MoreThose following this blog have been reading about the five levels of maturity for responding to criticism(see May 13th post and May 27th post). How well did Karen Klein, the 68-year-old grandmother who many of us witnessed in a YouTube video, do? There, during a 10 minute episode, middle school students hurl a barrage of criticism at her. One asks for her address because he says…
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In recent blogs posts I have been discussing five levels of responding to criticism (see May 13th post and May 27th post). Over the years most of my students have been largely supportive of its framework, but naturally there has been some criticism. A mother, for example, told me that although she agreed with the five levels framework when adults are responding to criticism from…
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In this blog, from time to time I have said that some responses to criticism are more mature than others. To refer to maturity without being clear about what it means can lead to confusion. So, today, I clarify what I meant by this. To do so, please consider the following comic strip. When Andy says that Marsha is acting immature, it is possible that…
Read MoreThe Parable of Ed and Lori Ed has been dating Lori for a little over a month. One day he invites her to have dinner at his favorite restaurant. “Ed,” she replies with a smile, “I’d like to pick the restaurant this time. You picked last time.” Ed thinks to himself that the one time he agreed to Lori picking the restaurant, she picked spicy…
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Recently, I put up a post on this blog titled “RESPONDING TO CRITICISM: FOUR LEVELS OF MATURITY.” After describing the four levels, I ended the post with the question, “Is there a higher level than level four?” Today I shall propose a level five: LEVEL FIVE. In addition to actions consistent with level 4, people responding to criticism in a manner consistent with level 5…
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The last few blog posts have been devoted to encouraging readers to take a little time to stop and think about criticism. In the most recent post, we took a look at four levels of responding to criticism. Level one is viewed as the least mature response, and each higher level is viewed as more and more mature. Let’s take another look at these four…
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Let’s say you meet a guy named Pete. As you begin to interact with him some of his actions begin to upset you. You say, “Pete, since we met you have yelled at me twice and called me stupid.” Pete responds to your criticism by smashing his elbow right into your cheek. Do you think you would like Pete? Would you respect Pete for acting…
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To become a master at dealing with disrespectful acts, an important skill to learn is to identify the reason you are being treated this way. In future blogs, I will discuss a total of eight reasons. Today we’ll focus just on one of them. Oftentimes the reason for the insulting behavior is that the insulter has a conflict with you. If you can quickly identify…
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