A Guide To Anger And Conflict Resolution
Welcome to From Insults to Respect. In my last blog post, we discussed how criticism often leads to an angry conflict related to the desire to be liked. We now turn to another reason why criticism often leads to a conflict — the desire to maintain freedom. Back in 1966, psychologist Jack W. Brehm published a remarkable book entitled, A Theory of Psychological Reactance. In…
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Welcome to From Insults to Respect. When someone provides criticism anger often ensues. The above comic offers us a fine example. Why is Sally getting so angry over her brother’s comment? Could it have to do with the desire to be liked and loved? For many of us, not being liked or loved is the worst thing imaginable. When you’re around someone who likes you, oftentimes that…
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Welcome to From Insults to Respect. Today, we take a look at the question, Can psychologists come up with a kinder, more respectful, healthier approach for dealing with the types of concerns people seek mental health services? The current approach, often referred to as the “medical model” or the “mental disorder model,” is promoted by the American Psychiatric Association (APA), the World Health Organization (WHO)…
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Welcome to From Insults to Respect. Let’s start off this post with a brief tale that illustrates some of the strong feelings that come about when religion is discussed: A rabbi and atheist are heatedly arguing over whether or not god truly exists. After a whole hour of this, finally the rabbi cries out in a rage, “How can you be so absolutely certain that there is…
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Welcome to From Insults to Respect. Perhaps some of you who have joined us here today have begun to notice that many in the media have begun to replace using the words “mentally ill,” “mental disorder,” or “psychopathology,” with words like, “a person with a mental health concern,” “mental health issue,” “mental health challenge,” or “mental health problem.” This change is viewed by some as more…
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Welcome to From Insults to Respect. Last week, I presented a post titled, “Mental Illness as Distress, Abnormality, and Dysfunction.” There, I explained that it is actually normal in our society to have periods during which we become concerned that we are too distressed, or too dissatisfied with our level of functioning. The pharmaceutical companies, I noted, promote that these concerns are mental disorders and…
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Welcome to From Insults to Respect. Today, I came upon a NewYorkTimes article titled “Residents’ Rights to Be Rude Upheld by Massachusetts Supreme Court.” The ruling settled a conflict between the town of Southborough’s “civility code” for public comment at meetings and Ms Louise Barron who had said to a town board member, “Look, you need to stop being a Hitler. You’re a Hitler. I can say what…
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Welcome to From Insults To Respect. This week, I received a letter from a wonderful pal of mine, Mike Gilmartin, a retired English professor who dabbles in the fine art of poetry. His letter included his most recent effort, which he titled, “The Art Of Trumping The Deal.” To me, it powerfully expresses Mike’s emotion that comes with his disrespect for Donald Trump’s bullying behavior. Mike…
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Welcome to From Insults to Respect. In a recent post, I shared some advice the highly respected psychologist and philosopher William James gave to his depressed 13-year-old daughter. It was so well received, I decided to describe another example of James giving advice to another person feeling so very blue. Unlike my previous example, which occurred when James was a mature professor and father, today’s example…
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Welcome to From Insults to Respect. Today, we take up a country-wide emotionally charged conflict between those who believe the Second Amendment allows for what they refer to as some “reasonable restrictions” of arms such as banning AR-15 weapons, and those who believe the amendment provides an inalienable right to own arms with absolutely “no restrictions.” Here’s what the Second Amendment actually states: A well…
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