A Guide To Anger And Conflict Resolution
A while back I saw a YouTube video dealing with insults that made someone cry went viral. It is called, Bus Stop Ignorance. In the video we see 43-year-old William Bailey taunting Hope Knight, a ten-year old girl with cerebral palsy. Hope uses crutches and Mr. Bailey, in the video, mocks the way she walks. He also gets his son to join him in the…
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Teasing is a game sometimes known as bantering, joshing, crackin’, rankin’, playing the dozens, trash talk, and infighting. You are judged on the quality of your insults and also how well you keep your cool on being insulted. Even the most mature people may like to play the teasing game, for they enjoy the duel of wits and the occasional humorous comeback. Consider the following…
Read MoreOver the past couple of months on this blog in weekly posts I have been discussing criticism. This past week on the internet I came upon an episode of Jerry Seinfeld’s internet show “Comedians in Car Getting Coffee.” There, Jerry and his fellow comedian, Michael Richards, discuss a very unfortunate incident that dramatically illustrates some of the ideas I’ve been trying to convey to my…
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Last week’s post is titled, AN INTRODUCTION TO “GUILTING.” There we compared “GUILTING” to “ENCOURAGING CARING.” Both are different styles of making a request and reacting if someone refuses to help. GUILTING People using guilting express sadness at the current state of affairs and then ask for assistance. Upon having a request turned down, the person who employs guilting responds in anger while seeking to…
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For the past few weeks we have been discussing how to deal with criticism. As I have noted, because criticism is often accompanied by name calling, insults, threats, and even violence, it can be very hard to handle. Even when criticism is provided in a more supportive manner, threats to our desires to be liked and to be free to do whatever we want can…
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In my previous post I provided readers a discussion titled PROVIDING NEGATIVE CRITICISM: FIVE LEVELS OF MATURITY. Several of the same arguments that I used earlier to defend the FIVE LEVELS OF RESPONDING TO CRITICISM are equally true for defending the five levels of providing negative criticism. Perhaps the best argument for the five levels can be derived from the golden rule—Treat others as you…
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Welcome to From Insults to Respect. Recently I have been discussing a model that describes five levels of maturity when responding to criticism. Today, we switch gears, and take a look at a model that describes five levels of maturity when providing criticism. The Five Levels Below you will find preliminary descriptions of how people at five developmental levels of maturity provide criticism, that is,…
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Recently, I published posts that discussed dealing with your anger that might arise when you are criticized (see BEING A WISE FRIEND TO YOUR ANGRY SELF, PART 1 and BEING A WISE FRIEND TO YOUR ANGRY SELF, PART 2). The techniques that are recommended in those posts can be helpful for those who are upset about what was said. But there are times when we…
Read MoreIn my last post, I discussed BEING A WISE FRIEND TO YOUR ANGRY SELF. I received some nice comments from people who found the suggestions helpful. Thanks! For some, the suggestions that I put forth on this blog are easy to carry out in real life situations. For others, old habits that have been used in anger- arousing situations for years are not so easily…
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Over the past few weeks, I have been discussing responding to criticism. To become a master at responding to criticism we have to learn to figure out the reason why someone is criticizing us because different reasons require a different type of response. So far, we discussed four different reasons and how to respond to them: Criticism designed to encourage you to improve (see RESPONDING…
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