A Guide To Anger And Conflict Resolution
For the past few weeks, I have been discussing the different reasons why people criticize and how to respond in a mature manner. To become a master at responding maturely, these mature responses have to be rehearsed. But even after a great deal of rehearsing, masters at responding to criticism occasionally find themselves becoming so angry at what is being said, that they have to…
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Over the past few weeks, I have been discussing responding to criticism. To become a master at responding to criticism we have to learn to figure out the reason why someone is criticizing us because different reasons require a different type of response. So far, we discussed four different reasons and how to respond to them: Criticism designed to encourage you to improve (see RESPONDING…
Read MoreLast week I began a discussion about how to handle it if you suspect somebody is criticizing you because of jealousy. Today we will begin a discussion about what you might wish to do if you find that you are insulting individuals with whom you are experiencing feelings of jealousy. To that end, please consider the following parable from my novel, Love, Sex, And Respect….
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Over the past few weeks, I have been discussing responding to criticism. To become a master at responding to criticism you have to learn to figure out the reason why someone is criticizing you because different reasons require a different type of response. So far, we discussed three different reasons: Criticism designed to encourage you to improve Playful teasing, The desire to form a bond…
Read MoreWelcome to From Insults to Respect. As each school year begins I like to once again post this discussion of how I would rate a school district’s handling of an incident in which a bus monitor was taunted by some middle school children during their bus ride home. Now, to be fair to the school district, I hasten to point out that the incident occurred several…
Read MoreIn my last post I discussed the YouTube video, “Making the Bus Monitor Cry.” Let’s continue the discussion. Why did these boys continue to say and do such hurtful things for over ten minutes? Was it because they hoped their actions would encourage the monitor to make some improvements in her life? This seems doubtful because their actions plainly demonstrated that they had absolutely no…
Read MoreThose following this blog have been reading about the five levels of maturity for responding to criticism(see May 13th post and May 27th post). How well did Karen Klein, the 68-year-old grandmother who many of us witnessed in a YouTube video, do? There, during a 10 minute episode, middle school students hurl a barrage of criticism at her. One asks for her address because he says…
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In recent blogs posts I have been discussing five levels of responding to criticism (see May 13th post and May 27th post). Over the years most of my students have been largely supportive of its framework, but naturally there has been some criticism. A mother, for example, told me that although she agreed with the five levels framework when adults are responding to criticism from…
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In this blog, from time to time I have said that some responses to criticism are more mature than others. To refer to maturity without being clear about what it means can lead to confusion. So, today, I clarify what I meant by this. To do so, please consider the following comic strip. When Andy says that Marsha is acting immature, it is possible that…
Read MoreThe Parable of Ed and Lori Ed has been dating Lori for a little over a month. One day he invites her to have dinner at his favorite restaurant. “Ed,” she replies with a smile, “I’d like to pick the restaurant this time. You picked last time.” Ed thinks to himself that the one time he agreed to Lori picking the restaurant, she picked spicy…
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