A Guide To Anger And Conflict Resolution
The chief executive officer (CEO) in the Dilbert comic strip is the bald-headed guy. He has been having quite a few conflicts with his workers. After trying some new approaches to resolve these conflicts, he decides to see if touching might help: Apparently, one of the CEO’s workers likes the way it feels when he is patted on his head. I don’t think I would…
Read MoreThis week we have a special treat, a guest blog post by Dr. Robin Lynn Treptow, PhD. Dr. Treptow describes herself as a peace psychologist who lives in Montana with her family. She believes that sustainable world-wide peace is achievable via psychological wisdom, and she labors one-on-one in each human interaction towards this goal. Here’s a little background to Dr. Treptow’s post: A couple of…
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If you follow the Calvin and Hobbes comic strip, you know that Calvin, from time to time, does some things that upset his Dad. And it is often not hard to understand why his father might become angry at some of Calvin’s actions. Here we see Calvin’s dad blowing up in anger. My wife and I raised two sons, and I wouldn’t be honest if…
Read MoreAudrey is at a fine restaurant with her parents celebrating her law school graduation. “Well, your mother and I are so proud of you, Audrey,” says her father. “Thanks, Dad!” “Now you know, Audrey, I think it best that you begin your career in my Wall Street firm,” says her father. “Dad, we discussed this already. I’m going to get a job in the Department…
Read MoreOn this blog, we have been discussing how we can move from anger to challenge. In one post, to help to move in the direction of challenge, I asked you to think of conflict as a great sea. I explained that there is a region of the Sea of Conflict that is known as Anger. There, storms are particularly likely to churn up, and some…
Read MoreOne morning I was getting ready to write my weekly blog post when I decided to first glance over at the New York Times‘ front page. A wave of sadness washed over me as I spotted the following headline: Girl’s Suicide Points to Rise in Apps Used by Cyberbullies According to the Times, 12-year-old Rebecca Sedwick leaped to her death after more than a year…
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Last week we discussed the theory that anger suppression can be harmful (see ANGER SUPPRESSION VERSUS CHALLENGE). We found that there is some evidence supporting the theory, and we therefore looked at the possibility that rather than suppressing anger, we can learn to transform this mischievous experience into a state of challenge without suppression. Since a popular alternative to either suppression or challenge is venting anger,…
Read MoreDespite the ample evidence that anger is fraught with danger, human debasement, and ineffective functioning, many people seem reluctant to put their heart and soul into learning more effective alternatives. Why is this? One of the biggest reasons is that our culture presents in both direct and subtle ways the theory that suppressing anger can be harmful. Here we will explore this theory. As we…
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Most of us know situations in which someone became angry and it made the situation worse. For example, consider the following Luann comic. In the comic, Toni, the girl with blond hair, becomes angry at Miss Eiffel because of the way she was treating her boyfriend, Brad. In the end, Toni and the guy she cares about are far from happy. Although expressing our anger…
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Angry memories of past conflicts can have important consequences as new conflicts arise. When dealing with a new conflict, recalling a similar conflict that occurred in the past can help us to consider utilizing a strategy that we had tried that ended up producing a satisfactory resolution, or to consider avoiding a strategy that we had tried that ended up failing miserably. Sometimes we find…
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