Learning to be Wise
Welcome to From Insults to Respect.
For those of us who seek to be respected, increasing our wisdom offers a promising path. In thinking about this, I recall a paragraph by John Stewart Mill:
John Stuart Mill
“In the case of any person whose judgment is really deserving of confidence, how has it become so? Because he has kept his mind open to criticism of his opinions and conduct. Because it has been his practice to listen to all that could be said against him; to profit by as much of it as was just, and expound to himself, and upon occasion to others, the fallacy of what was fallacious. Because he has felt, that the only way in which a human being can make some approach to knowing the whole of a subject, is by hearing what can be said about it by persons of every variety of opinion, and studying all modes in which it can be looked at by every character of mind. No wise man ever acquired his wisdom in any mode but this; nor is it the nature of human intellect to become wise in any other manner.
It’s not easy for many people to listen carefully to someone criticizing them, but I have found it is a skill that can be learned, and very much worth the effort. I offer free suggestions for going about doing this in a variety of my earlier posts (see HERE, HERE, HERE, and HERE). It requires a few weeks of effort, but it is well worth your time.
In thinking about other aspects of what it means to be wise, it might be worthwhile to think about how some thoughtful people define it. Over the years, having read quite a few such definitions, I have come to view it as follows:
Individuals who tend to act wisely can think more critically, logically, and scientifically while remaining open and civil to those who may disagree with them; they can role-play and empathize with the emotions of a wide variety of human beings and can process moral dilemmas according to standards of democratic justice and the golden rule; and they have the ability to puzzle through the tough problems of living, to take a stand, while continuing to remain open to possible revisions and new information—thus demonstrating an increased capacity to make successive approximations toward more efficient, effective, economical and beautiful short term and long term accomplishments.
If you want to see how other thoughtful writers define wisdom, I recommend an article titled “Wisdom: Meaning, Structure, Types, Arguments, and Future Concerns.” There you will find all the definitions of wisdom offered by leading minds throughout history. Reading these definitions, might, by itself lead you to take some important steps toward approaching wisdom. Here’s a suggestion that may help to more deeply consider how such definitions might lead to incorporate principles of wisdom into your own life.
Write down a personal concern that you have, one in which you have not yet decided how best to deal with. Then write out how you imagine you will deal with it. Then, read over a few definitions of wisdom, and then try to utilize some aspect of the definition for dealing with your concern. Write out specifically what you will do differently in light of the definition.
Do this exercise with other concerns over the following four weeks. By doing so, I think you will find yourself beginning to beneficially incorporate principles of wisdom into your life.
Finally, to increase your wisdom, seek to improve how kind you are to others and yourself.
So, there you have it, my suggestions this week for turning insults to respect.
My Best,
Jeff
———————
Some people will enjoy reading this blog by beginning with the first post and then moving forward to the next more recent one; then to the next one; and so on. This permits readers to catch up on some ideas that were presented earlier and to move through all of the ideas in a systematic fashion to develop their emotional intelligence. To begin at the very first post you can click HERE
I think the question of what constitutes wisdom is related to the definition of what constitutes a human being. In the way I apprehend reality, a human being is multi-dimensional. Some of these dimensions are:
– the bodily dimensions.
– the psychological dimensions.
– the social dimensions.
– the spiritual dimensions.
The spiritual dimensions are for me very real and practical. People may access these dimensions through dreams, meditations, breathworks, spiritual practices, consulting, and for some through direct channeling and travel in spirit. And there is wisdom in a spiritual connection to our body, too: the body is a spirit and a teacher.
To go further, I would stress that mediumnity is real and shamanism has been practiced by mankind for millenia before the prohibition in Exodus 22:18 and other prescriptions.
I would also not consider the scientific experimental methods as appropriate for studying these experiences, simply because they are unique, non reproducible, and not exactly voluntary. So I would include the spiritual dimensions in my quest for wisdom, at the very least in the form of intuition, the little voice in my head, or what I may perceive through meditation or prayer.
As you write about “thinking more critically, logically, and scientifically”, I would add “interacting with the spiritual dimensions, the spiritual archives and the many spirits, the deceased, the nature spirits, spiritual guides, devas, chtonian spirits, extraterrestrial spirits, and others that dwell within those dimensions.
Hi Luc Thibaud,
Thank you for providing an additional perspective on the nature of wisdom–one that includes a spiritual connection. You direct our attention to an aspect of human nature that for many is central to their central way of being.
There is an issue for me whenever spirituality comes up along side the notion of wisdom. For me, I’m a great admirer of the writings of the Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh who strikes me as spiritual, kind, and wise. However there are those who act out of their spiritual convictions that, in my view, strike me as unwise. Consider those in the Southern Confederacy that acted out of their sense of spiritually to advocate for slavery and fighting in the terrible war against the North. Currently we have in the Middle East people on both sides of the conflict acting out of their spiritual belief. I have questions about their wisdom in doing so. Perhaps a spirituality that keeps the golden rule close to one’s heart might be a more comfortable notion for me as a guiding path to wisdom. Thoughts?
My Best,
Jeff
I’ll try to answer logically Jeffrey. But you bring current atrocious wars in the discussion, besides past horrors mankind was responsible for, and that is so emotional and heavy to the heart that intellectual arguments seems out of place and futile.
I think wisdom is trying to make peace, each day, without getting tired. The death of your enemy is no joy, but grief. The pursuit of war is a shame for all mankind as is slavery.
However I’d suggest to clearly distinguish between collective religion based on shared belief and individual spirituality based on inward dimensions becoming operative through a lengthy process of self-healing.
I’ll try to explain: religion can be seen as a psycho-social technology, a kind of collective psycho-social virus whose transmission is both vertical – that your children inherit – and horizontal – that your contacts acquire (see Richard Dawkins, The selfish gene). The selfish purpose of this virus is to protect its integrity, to propagate and reinforce its grip upon believers and to extend its territory. The useful purpose of this virus should be social: giving laws, submission to a unique power, taxation, enrollment, some ethical and practical guidance, and psychological: offering some form of inner purpose, inner peace, discipline and collective events to the persons and groups infected. Religion may be both good and bad, but one constant in religion is sacrifice. The sacrifice may be bloody, but also in terms of sanity and intelligence, as the layman as to forgive his own quest for truth, and adopt the ready-made supposed-to-be-true collective belief, the religious virus’s DNA. Children may be sacrificed, too, in their body, and in their mind, receiving religious indoctrination and in their spirit, receiving, well, trauma. Trauma creates the bed for future insanity, in that way, religion may be the opposite of a spiritual quest for wisdom. To the point that some religious viruses or variants of, mutated viruses, value their own self before human life, and may incite believers to diverse forms of ritual suicide, individual or collective.
On the other hand, spirituality should be considered as the lengthy process of clarifying personal inner waters to such a degree that they become a mirror of reality. It’s a healing process of past traumatic memories, in this life and in previous lives and through past generations, if you accept these concepts. While transforming the memories of your past, these experiences become wisdom. In that sense spirituality is a quest for wisdom. The more you advance along this path, the more connected you become to the spiritual dimensions. This process is inseparable from the awakening of compassion, the repulsion about making the other suffer from your actions, and from the endeavor towards more discernment. It’s a dangerous path if you are not careful, and there are black shamans, too, and not all spirits are good.
Hi Luc Thibaud,
Thanks for clarifying your previous comment. Very thoughtful ideas. I’ll need some time to think through some of them. In the meantime your ideas are always welcome.
My Best,
Jeff
Open and civil, applying the Golden Rule, being kind. Dr Rubin, you have hit this one out of the Park ! I recently read a book about Dr. Fauci and he used all your tools to become a respected leader and guess what, like many great achievers and thoughtful thinkers and listeners, he hails from Brooklyn!
Hi John Whyte,
Always a pleasure hearing from you. You mention my fellow Brooklynite, Dr Fauci. I haven’t read his book, but it’s nice to hear you found him supporting wise ways of being. We sure need more folks like that.
My Best,
Jeff