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Bob Dylan On Fathers

by Jeffrey Rubin, PhD

Welcome to From Insults to Respect.

We’re now into that early summery month of June. I think I’ll glance over here at my calendar.

Hmmm, Father’s Day–June 18th–is rapidly approaching. For Mother’s Day, I utilized aspects of Bob Dylan’s entertaining Theme Time Radio Hour episode on mothers to have some fun commemorating it. I think I’ll do likewise for Bob’s Father’s Day episode. Let’s go see if we can find some precious jewels there.

Bob’s Show On The Theme Of Fathers

Bob begins by telling us, “We’re here today to celebrate fathers.

Jimmie Rodgers

“We’re going to start things off with the singing brakeman, the yodeling cowboy, the father of country music–Jimmie Rodgers.”

Bob then plays us Jimmie’s “Daddy’s Home.” Here’s a few of its lyrics:

I am dreaming, tonight, of an old southern townAnd the best friend that I ever hadFor I’ve grown so weary of roaming aroundAnd I’m going home to my dad

Your hair has turned to silver and I know you’re failing tooDaddy, dear, oh, Daddy, I’m coming back to youYou made my childhood happy but still I longed to roamI’ve had my way, but now I’ll say, I long for you and for home

Dear daddy, you shared all my sorrows and joysYou tried hard to bring me up rightI know you’ll still be one of the boysI’m starting back home tonight
The song kinda gets to me ’cause I sure wish I could go visit my dad. He passed away when I was barely 13-years old. I was talking to my sister just the other day about our memories of him, and both of us had moments when tears came to our eyes.

In the “Daddy’s Home” song we get a sense of what the song writer respected about his dad–being the best friend that he ever had, making his childhood happy, sharing his sorrows and joys, and trying hard to bring him up right. Those sure are fine qualities.

Julie London

As Bob’s show continues, he introduces a humorous song called “Daddy” by the smokey and sultry Julie London that is filled with revelations and bits of stimulation. Let’s check out some of the lyrics:

Ooh Daddy, I want a diamond ring and bracelets, everything
Daddy, you oughta gather this for me
Ooh, Daddy gee, won’t I look swell in sables? Clothes with Paris labels? Daddy, you oughta gather this for me.

Here’s amazing revelation with a bit of stimulation
I’d be a great sensation, I’d be your inspiration
Daddy, I want a brand new car and champagne, caviar
Daddy, you oughta gather this for me

Dress me up in silks and satins
Put good booze in my Manhattans
Tap me with expensive presents
Feed me oysters and broiled pheasants 
The humor of the song comes from the singer pleading with her dad to give her all of these materialistic things. I think that for most people there is a sense of extreme, over the top, shallowness being displayed here.

To me, appreciating the noncommercial aspect of being a dad, such as sharing love, sorrows, and joys, along with providing for those things that children truly need is somehow a deeper quality when it comes to being a great dad.

In the middle of the show, Bob tells us:

Charlie Sheen

“Ran into Charlie Sheen again…. I asked him about his dad, Marty Sheen, a free radical, an atomic molecule of an actor. He loves his father, and he had this to say about him.”

At this point we hear Charlie saying:

“I think it was when I was in elementary school. I had a real hard time with separation anxiety. My dad, for a while would have to stay in the class with me and I started to see the reaction to him by the staff, by the teachers. I started to get the sense that what he did was a lot different from what the other dads were doing.

Marty Sheen

“The most important lessons he taught me involves the truth and honesty, not just in my work, but as the person and the value and the importance of the truth because he told me early on that the truth doesn’t change.

Happy Father’s Day, I love you and thanks for being my dad and being one of the best guys a son can hope to know.” 

Now, there’s a guy who really appreciates his dad. Interestingly for me is that when Charlie told about his father teaching him about the value of truth and honesty, I found myself experiencing a bit of angst for it led me to recall times when I just might have stretched the truth on one or two occasions. I have two sons, now grown men, and I wonder if they have forgiven me for times they feel I had misled them, or do they still hold some rough feelings about me for this. I think this might be worth discussing with them before too long.
The next song is by The Sons of the Pioneers and recounts the great times the singer had with his father before he sadly passed away.

And then Bob introduces the song “Color Him Father.”

“Gonna color him father, color him love, this is a big top ten hit about a father tired and beat, sitting at the table to eat, never a frown, always a smile–‘Color Him Father,’ The Winstons.”
It’s one of those rare songs that pays a heart warming tribute to a stepdad that came to be a real father to his family:

There’s a man at my house, he’s so big and strongHe goes to work each day, and he stays all day long
He comes home each night looking tired and beatHe sits down at the dinner table and has a bite to eat
Never a frown always a smile

When he says to me how’s my childI said that I’ve been studying hard all day in schoolTryin’ very hard to understand the golden rule
I think I’ll color this man fatherI think I’ll color him love
Said I’m gonna color him fatherI think I’ll color the man love, yes I will
He says education is the thing if you want to competeBecause without it son, life ain’t very sweetI love this man and I don’t know whyExcept I’ll need his strength until the day that I die

My mother loves him and I can tellBy the way she looks at him when he holds my little sister NellI heard her say just the other dayThat if it hadn’t of been for him she couldn’t have found her way
I think I’ll color him fatherI’m gonna color him loveI’ve got to color him fatherI think I’ll color this man love

Our real old man he got killed in the warAnd she knows she and seven kids couldn’t of gotten very farShe said she thought that she could never love againAnd then there he stood with that big wide grinHe married my mother and he took us inAnd now we belong to the man with that big wide grin

I’ve got to color this man fatherI’m gonna color him loveI’ve got to color him fatherI believe I’ll color this man love
He’s just been so good to meI know I’ve got to color him love
The song brings up some strong feelings for me because like its narrator, my biological father died when I was young, and when my mother remarried I was raised by a stepdad. Unfortunately for me, as a teenager my stepdad’s authoritarian efforts led me to rebel. I sure wish I could have come up with some less heated ways to respond.

As Bob begins to close this episode, he plays us a little audio from the old “Leave It To Beaver TV show.” The show’s father figure happens to come upon a school assignment of his young son whose nickname is “The Beaver.” The assignment was, “Write something about your most interesting character.” As The Beaver’s father reads it, you can tell he is pretty touched by the words.

The most interesting character I have ever known is my father, Mr. Ward Cleaver. He does not have an interesting job. He just works hard and takes care of all of us. He never shot things in Africa or not saved anybody that was drowning. He might not be interesting to you, or someone else because he’s not your father, just mine.
There’s something kinda touching about these words.

What was Bob like as a father? According to his son, Jakob, the leader of the band The Wallflowers, in an interview with the New York Times, “He was affectionate. When I was a kid, he was a god to me for all the right reasons. Other people have put that tag on him in some otherworldly sense. I say it as any kid who admired his dad and had a great relationship with him. He never missed a single Little League game I had. He’s collected every home-run ball I ever hit. And he’s still affectionate to me.”

Well, there you have it, my Bob Dylan salute to all of you dads out there.

My Best
Jeff

———————

Some people will enjoy reading this blog by beginning with the first post and then moving forward to the next more recent one; then to the next one; and so on.  This permits readers to catch up on some ideas that were presented earlier and to move through all of the ideas in a systematic fashion to develop their emotional intelligence.  To begin at the very first post you can click HERE.

On Bob Dylan's "Chimes Of Freedom"
Bob Dylan's "Baby, Stop Crying"

June 13, 2023 Bob Dylan, Fathers Modified 2 yearsago

About the Author

Jeffrey Rubin grew up in Brooklyn and received his PhD from the University of Minnesota. In his earlier life, he worked in clinical settings, schools, and a juvenile correctional facility. More recently, he authored three novels, A Hero Grows in Brooklyn, Fights in the Streets, Tears in the Sand, and Love, Sex, and Respect (information about these novels can be found at http://www.frominsultstorespect.com/novels/). Currently, he writes a blog titled “From Insults to Respect” that features suggestions for working through conflict, dealing with anger, and supporting respectful relationships.

4 Comments

  1. JSR says:
    June 18, 2023 at 3:39 pm

    I’m sorry you didn’t get to have your dad in your life for very long Dr. Rubin. I get the sense that you’re a pretty awesome dad yourself.

    Reply
    • Dr. Jeffrey Rubin says:
      June 18, 2023 at 10:18 pm

      Hi JSR,

      Only my sons know for sure, but I sure tried to be. I know they know I love them big time.

      Jeff

      Reply
  2. Bill J Adams says:
    August 8, 2023 at 3:12 pm

    This is a heart-warming and much appreciated post. For the short period of my life during which my biological father lived with me and my family, I adored him. After my parents’ separation, which was psychologically traumatizing, I continued to ask for him and seek to continue our communication. This resulted in better learning to read and write (both in English, my second acquired language, as well as in Spanish). Also, my father must have enjoyed this means of communicating as he sent me a tape recorder and tapes of personal messages about his new life as well as responses to my questions about our lives together. My mother, burdened with the need to raise her five children alone, sent for her mother and did her best to support and raise our brood as well as her aging mother, who was in fact my surrogate mother. As a result of these circumstances, my loving mother fell in love with another man who never replaced my biological father in my mind but served as a decent model for me of manhood. In all things, this unofficial (i.e., extra-legal) “stepfather” cared for my mother and helped me develop into the person that I became, a law-abiding and I believe, responsible citizen who is caring about the welfare of less fortunate persons.

    Reply
    • Dr. Jeffrey Rubin says:
      August 8, 2023 at 10:27 pm

      Hi Bill J. Adams,
      It’s uplifting to hear how things worked out even after such trying earlier times,
      Jeff

      Reply

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