Welcome to From Insults To Respect. Today, with some of us deeply concerned about family members dealing with the aftermath of the catastrophic hurricane, it seems to me this is an apt time to take a few minutes to think about what family means to us.

For many of us, during times when we find ourselves in rough waters, our family is a lifeline, members pulling lovingly together to ease us from the deep. Others are not so lucky.

All kinds of family problems can arise. Some members may do something that casts a shadow over the clan. Sometimes it may be we who mess up, and the guilt we hold for disgracing those we care for is excruciating. And then there are times when a member accomplishes something splendid, leading to all pleasantly glowing.

What else is there to say about families? Well, it just so happens Bob Dylan, for one of the episodes of his Theme Time Radio Hour show, focussed in on the family circle (see HERE). Let’s see what it has to offer to enrich today’s topic. And then I’ll conclude with a few observations from Bob’s son, Jacob.

Bob’s Show

Bob begins with the following words:

Welcome once again to Theme Time Radio Hour. I got nothing to sell, nothing to promote, just a good friend stopping by.

If this was the Golden Age of Radio, I’d tell you to gather the kids around the radio, but it’s a new day and everybody in the family has different interests. A matter of fact, everybody barely spends any time together even when they’re in the same room.  But this week, we’re gonna put aside an hour to examine the most important of units, the family.

As Thomas Jefferson once said, “The happiest moments of my life have been the few which I rested at home in the bosom of my family.” Old TJ was a smart guy. 

So, we’re gonna take a few ticks of the clock to look at heart and hearth. We’ll look at family trees, family dinners, family planning, and family jewels. There’ll be Dutch uncles, grandfather clocks, kissing cousins, sons of a gun, and maybe a couple of SOBs. It’s all in the family. Let’s get it goin.’

From here, Bob launches into a variety of songs, all touching upon family relationships, with characters involving parents, grandparents, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, and cousins. For example, we get to hear a song by Sly and the Family Stone titled “It’s A Family Affair.” Bob introduces it saying, “A weary skeptical record, with a darkness born of drug use. This song was all over the radio and its power could not be denied.” Here are a few of the lyrics:

Sly and the Family Stone

It’s a family affair
It’s a family affair
It’s a family affair
It’s a family affair

One child grows up to be
Somebody that just loves to learn
And another child grows up to be
Somebody you’d just love to burn

Mom loves the both of them
You see, it’s in the blood
Both kids are good to mom
Blood’s thicker than the mud

It’s a family affair
It’s a family affair
It’s a family affair
It’s a family affair Over there, over there
Newlywed a year age
But you’re still checking each other out, hey
Nobody wants to blow

Nobody wants to be left out, uh huh

You can’t leave, ’cause your heart is there

But, sure, you can’t stay, ’cause you been somewhere else

You can’t cry ’cause you’ll look broke down

But you’re cryin’ anyway ’cause you’re all broke down

On Bob’s radio shows he likes to crack a few jokes. On this episode he tells us that, “Families are like fudge, mostly sweet, but there are a few nuts.”

George Bernard Shaw

He also tells us that George Bernard Shaw once said, “When our relatives aren’t home we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them.” Hmmm. No doubt Shaw is capturing for many folks something that has an element of truth, but, as for me, I’m nuts about my family.

At one point, Bob goes to his emails, and finds one from a woman named Melody:

Dear Bob, the shows have been exceptional this year. I copy them and give them to my friends. I know it’s illegal but my friends enjoy them. 

Bob, here, interjects–Melody, I’m complimented, but I can’t condone that kind of behavior.

She continues. Perhaps you can help me with a problem. My husband is stricter with our son than he is with our daughter. What should I say to him to make him more fair?

Well, Melody, that’s an interesting question. Parents shouldn’t have favorites among their children, but sometimes they do. You should forget about trying to convince him that he is being unreasonable and instead pose a couple of questions. Do you think his son needs stricter rules than his daughter? Is he perhaps remembering what he did as a child? How is his strictness affecting the children? I think perhaps the best solution is to do more things as a complete family. Don’t break them up into small teams or units. The more things you do together, he will treat both children equally. I’m sure you guys will work it out. And stop giving my shows away. 

So, until next week, take some time to be with your family. Cherish them. You are not going to get to be with them forever. Hold your family close while you got them. The moments you have with them are precious and few.

What a wonderful sentiment. It led me to wonder how Bob was with his own family. In interviews, he rarely has talked about them. In fact he is very hesitant to be forthcoming about anything personal in interviews, though he has no problem pouring out his heart in song. Consider, for example, his emotional performance on “If You See Her, Say Hello.”

Jakob Dylan

We get a little insight about Bob’s family life from his son, Jakob, who is the lead singer and primary song writer for the band, The Wallflowers. During an interview with the New York Times (See HERE), as you might guess, the interviewer, Anthony Decurtis, asks Jakob about his dad. At first, Jakob is reluctant to reply, saying,

You got right to the head of why people have a problem with me. If people want to talk about Bob Dylan, I can talk about that. But my dad belongs to me and four other people exclusively. I’m very protective of that. 

Those “four other people” are his brothers and sisters, of whom Jakob is the youngest. As the interview continues, Jakob begins to open up:

In his studio that afternoon, Jakob had the look of a man who is standing on a diving board, wondering whether to jump. Then he jumped. “Yes,” he said, taking a breath, “he was affectionate. When I was a kid, he was a god to me for all the right reasons. Other people have put that tag on him in some otherworldly sense. I say it as any kid who admired his dad and had a great relationship with him. He never missed a single Little League game I had. He’s collected every home-run ball I ever hit. And he’s still affectionate to me.” He paused and smiled. “Maybe he doesn’t want people to know that,” he said. “But I’ll tell you, because it’s my interview.”…. “Look, he’s the best at what I do. I know that, and so do my heroes. I got to watch my heroes meet him and saw how they reacted, whether it was Joe Strummer or Tom Waits. It was peculiar. I’m so stoked to meet Tom Waits, and he’s so nervous to meet my dad. It’s a head spin.”

I found it heartwarming to hear Jakob talk so lovingly about his dad.

Some people will enjoy reading this blog by beginning with the first post and then moving forward to the next more recent one; then to the next one; and so on. This permits readers to catch up on some ideas that were presented earlier and to move through all of the ideas in a systematic fashion to develop their emotional and social intelligence. To begin at the very first post you can click HERE.

Bob DylanFamilyJakob DylanTheme Time Radio Hour